As I sit down to write a blogpost for the first time in quite a long while, I'd like to start out by wishing anyone passing by a very happy and rewarding new year! May 2011 be anything you'd wish for and much, much more! Personally I have a very good feeling about this year. I don't expect it to be "normal" or predictable in any way, but I think it will be adventurous and fun. And I'm definitely in for that!
I just arrived back home from two weeks of christmas with family and then new year's with my partner. These two weeks have been a nice transition time from the finishing of the program I had been taking during last year and... well, and the NEW. Coming back home first seemed so very nice and I was full of energy to get organized, make plans and "integrate myself" to be able to move on, but then just a few hours later I found myself feeling completely lost and without any of all the energy I had expected. And this is where I am as I sit down to write. So I hope you'll bear with me as I try to write my confusion off and sort out my thoughts. This post really will be a true blogpost; blog as in weblog, a log for the web, a diary on the internet... Normally I try to keep the posts as general as possible - but I still do want to promote the idea that the personal can be general, when we try to make it so. (This may be my Cancer/Capricorn energies speaking!)
So, as I continue writing here I'll just admit that I have no idea where this post is heading or what I'd like to convey through writing it. Okey :)?
Franco Santoro who developed the concept of astroshamanism recently wrote about the tradition of recapitulation around christmas, as a preparation for consciously entering into the new year (http://astroshamanic.blogspot.com/2010/12/solstice-letter-from-christmas-by.html). I think it's something along these lines that I feel I need to do in order to enter into the new year of 2011 with clarity and intention.
The main question or issue for me is What is my path? (I think it's a good idea to clarify what the main question is when feeling confused). I think I may have written earlier about my MC, or midheaven, which is located in late Pisces in my birthchart. I think this placement of the MC often brings a lot of confusion about career or life path issues, where the native seeks some unclear spiritual "career" which always remains elusive and out of grasp. So, the question What is my path has always been a difficult one for me, but during the last few years with Uranus and later Jupiter transiting my MC, this question has become HUGE! But I also feel the transits have brought me to a greater understanding of my path, and not least, a greater feeling of freedom to explore this.
So when I recapitulate last year I keep my focus on my MC and the transits to it, and what has happened during the year, internally and externally, in matters of career and vocation; in matters of my life path. Keywords that come to me are Nature/Herbs/Flower essences, Healing and Writing. And Astrology, but it doesn't come on as strongly as earlier this year. Shamanism is also like a backdrop. Yes, there it is. Yes, these are great realizations that I have made during this year when I have transitioned from a permanent position as a school librarian ,which almost bored me to death, to an unsure but free and exciting future where I can explore how to make a living out of the above interests and passions that I have.
I have a strong feeling I need a mentor, a guide to help me develop my path and stick to it. I know the power of intention, but I find it so hard to come down to one intent and stick to it purely - I fear all other things thus get ruled out and what if the intent is not the right one? But then I also know this fear is just an excuse not to move onto the path, because I've learnt that if the intent is not the right one, I would simply just know this after a while. So I guess the fear is really about moving onto the path. It's so weird, what I wish for most profoundly I hinder myself from achieving!
OK, I'll keep on recapitulating and then try to set up some sort of plan - and I'll see you all soon again here on the blog. I hope this post has inspired some of you to also do a recapitulation in order to be better able to move consciously into 2011.