Entering 2011

As I sit down to write a blogpost for the first time in quite a long while, I'd like to start out by wishing anyone passing by a very happy and rewarding new year! May 2011 be anything you'd wish for and much, much more! Personally I have a very good feeling about this year. I don't expect it to be "normal" or predictable in any way, but I think it will be adventurous and fun. And I'm definitely in for that!

I just arrived back home from two weeks of christmas with family and then new year's with my partner. These two weeks have been a nice transition time from the finishing of the program I had been taking during last year and... well, and the NEW. Coming back home first seemed so very nice and I was full of energy to get organized, make plans and "integrate myself" to be able to move on, but then just a few hours later I found myself feeling completely lost and without any of all the energy I had expected. And this is where I am as I sit down to write. So I hope you'll bear with me as I try to write my confusion off and sort out my thoughts. This post really will be a true blogpost; blog as in weblog, a log for the web, a diary on the internet... Normally I try to keep the posts as general as possible - but I still do want to promote the idea that the personal can be general, when we try to make it so. (This may be my Cancer/Capricorn energies speaking!)

So, as I continue writing here I'll just admit that I have no idea where this post is heading or what I'd like to convey through writing it. Okey :)?

Franco Santoro who developed the concept of astroshamanism recently wrote about the tradition of recapitulation around christmas, as a preparation for consciously entering into the new year (http://astroshamanic.blogspot.com/2010/12/solstice-letter-from-christmas-by.html). I think it's something along these lines that I feel I need to do in order to enter into the new year of 2011 with clarity and intention.

The main question or issue for me is What is my path? (I think it's a good idea to clarify what the main question is when feeling confused). I think I may have written earlier about my MC, or midheaven, which is located in late Pisces in my birthchart. I think this placement of the MC often brings a lot of confusion about career or life path issues, where the native seeks some unclear spiritual "career" which always remains elusive and out of grasp. So, the question What is my path has always been a difficult one for me, but during the last few years with Uranus and later Jupiter transiting my MC, this question has become HUGE! But I also feel the transits have brought me to a greater understanding of my path, and not least, a greater feeling of freedom to explore this.

So when I recapitulate last year I keep my focus on my MC and the transits to it, and what has happened during the year, internally and externally, in matters of career and vocation; in matters of my life path. Keywords that come to me are Nature/Herbs/Flower essences, Healing and Writing. And Astrology, but it doesn't come on as strongly as earlier this year. Shamanism is also like a backdrop. Yes, there it is. Yes, these are great realizations that I have made during this year when I have transitioned from a permanent position as a school librarian ,which almost bored me to death, to an unsure but free and exciting future where I can explore how to make a living out of the above interests and passions that I have.

I have a strong feeling I need a mentor, a guide to help me develop my path and stick to it. I know the power of intention, but I find it so hard to come down to one intent and stick to it purely - I fear all other things thus get ruled out and what if the intent is not the right one? But then I also know this fear is just an excuse not to move onto the path, because I've learnt that if the intent is not the right one, I would simply just know this after a while. So I guess the fear is really about moving onto the path. It's so weird, what I wish for most profoundly I hinder myself from achieving!

OK, I'll keep on recapitulating and then try to set up some sort of plan - and I'll see you all soon again here on the blog. I hope this post has inspired some of you to also do a recapitulation in order to be better able to move consciously into 2011.

Love,
Anna

Remaining centered

The past few months have been very tranquil and meditative for me, and I think they have been a bit slow for everyone, as Mars has been retrograde. For me this time has been very healing. Slowly I have moved out of stress and out of feeling guilty over not doing all those things that main stream society expects us to do. I have moved into a realization of a deep dilemma that has been very ingrained in my soul: I have believed that there is no way out of the trap of having to put up with just about any work, no matter how dreadful one finds it, to be able to survive (I wrote about this in my previous post). This dilemma seems to be clearly illustrated astrologically in that transiting Uranus, which is moving over my MC, is also opposed by T-Saturn, hovering at my IC - the dilemma of freedom vs security, where Saturn (security) previously has won at the expense of my spirit (I also have Saturn square Uranus natally).

Uranus the awakener

Saturn natally squares my nodal axis, so it is a critical planet in the understanding of difficult karmic stuff for me. The realization came about during a past life regression, so it was not just a mental understanding - which, I think, is why it brought about such a profound release. It all peaked when i had to make a decision about how to handle a possible job offer - a job I did not want but felt obliged to accept if I would be offered it. The regression helped me solve it, and after that, the Universe showed me that all was well by making me "stumble over" the course in organic farming/gardening that I have now finished the first week of! I'm amazed to have this happening to me!

I call this post Remaining centered because this seems to be the great challenge right now. All is well, but I have to make an effort to remain myself among other people and with a more busy schedule. In order to be able to write, I need a lot of time so that things can grow and become conscious in my mind before I can put them into words. I have less time now, but I really don't want to let go of this blog. I feel that this, too, is an important part of this transit of Uranus to my MC, as Uranus does represent astrology among other things. The course in organic farming ties in with the Taurean parts of my chart I feel, and that is partly my South Node. But the South Node is not isolated from the North Node - the direction of the Soul in this lifetime - and Uranus is conjunct my North Node after all. So I really will try to keep on writing in this blog and hope that it will help me remaining centered. And I hope that the readers that have found their way here will keep on finding it interesting!

I hope that you've all had a good start of the new astrological year starting at the spring equinox of last Saturday!
I wish you lots of love and joy!
Anna

The 5th/11th house axis combining with the MC, and Chiron as Shaman

Today a chain of thoughts brought me back to Chiron again. It seems that there has been a profound effect upon the workings of Chiron in my psyche as a consequence of transiting Pluto having trined it. For this I'm so happy - it has my intuition working so amazingly well, and I cannot imagine a more exciting adventure than the one that sets about through intuition. If you act upon those clear messages that come from your soul, and that are enhanced by synchronicity so that you just KNOW they are meaningful, then things will unfold in an amazing way. It's a certainty. Trust is the key.

(Book cover for "Chiron and the healing journey" by Melanie Reinhart)

And so what was it that led me back to Chiron today? I was pondering the fact that my MC at 26 Pisces will soon be transited by Uranus, and I had a realization about how the interplay of the 5th and 11th houses ties in with this transit to my MC. The MC or Midheaven marks the beginning of the 10th house in the horoscope, and represents the highest point of the heavens at the time of birth. Thus it represents the most "visible" you as a part of society. It represents your role in society, what comes out of your true calling or vocation. If you have planets conjunct or in strong aspect to the Midheaven or simply in your 10th house they are pointers to your strivings in society.

The MC in Pisces has had me very confused about finding my vocation. Pisces is not known for certainty of direction. It is more about dreams, intuitions and a longing for Source. Finding my vocation has always seemed very elusive to me. I have always had a nagging feeling of discontent, and a lack of something extremely important in my work - spirit. It seems that it is not until now that I am really getting ready to integrate my MC. I feel it's very much about daring to be seen in society as someone representing Piscean values, and working with them. And my feeling has been that this is quite controversial. The MC interplays with the IC (the Nadir) - your deepest personal roots - and this axis is often seen as representing the parents. I know for me the feeling that working with something Piscean might not be seen as acceptable is a view I've internalised from my parents. But with Uranus transiting the MC, I am finally breaking away from this internalised message and am ready to go my own way.

What has this to do with the 5th/11th house? Well, my MC is ruled by Neptune, which resides in the 5th house, in Sagittarius. Uranus, the planet that transits the MC is natally near the cusp of my 5th house, conjunct the North Node (NN) which is in the 5th. Uranus is the natural ruler of the 11th house, and Neptune in my chart is ruled by Jupiter (since it is in Sagittarius), which resides in... the 11th house! And the connection between my MC (Neptune ruled) and Uranus, to the 5th/11th houses, is emphasising my nodal axis which is in these houses. And the South Node (SN) is widely conjunct... Chiron! And Chiron is in the 10th (although quite close to the cusp of the 11th) - vocational issue again. Isn't that a fascinating loop? Chiron conj. the SN can be representative of past lives as a healer. It all ties in so beautifully into a web of energies, all correlated....

When I searched for more information on Chiron in the 10th, I found this site on Molly's astrology, where she writes that Chiron is associated with shamanism (http://north-node.com/astrology-tutorials/chiron)! Past lives as a healer, or maybe as a shaman? She also writes in one of the comments of the article that "Chiron's resonance is often with the herbal world". As you can read in earlier posts I have understood that there is something about shamans and herbs that is calling me - but I did not know it had to do with Chiron. Now I know, and I just feel... blissful! - by the accuracy and meaningfulness of it all.

Revel in your synchronicities, everyone!
I wish you lots of love and joy
Anna

Slowly with Saturn retrograde through my 4th

I have moved into a very inwardly focused mode. Soon already one month has gone by since I quit working. Time passes incredibly fast, and the days flow in and out through one another. But even if time seems to be passing at an intense pace, I still experience a slow pace inside myself. I am starting to really move out of stress, and instead I am almost beginning to experience the other extreme - I'm almost getting bored.

It seems to fit well with transiting Saturn going retrograde in my 4th house. Saturn began retrograding at 4.39 Libra on the 14th of January. That was the day before the Solar eclipse (it was also the day that I started this blog), which I experienced as a boost, but now that flow has somehow smoothed itself out, and I can really feel Saturn retrograde in my 4th, squaring transiting Pluto in 6th, as a hold-back for me now. This is OK! I can hardly expext to know right away how to shape my "new" life.

At the same time I'm SO eager to find that new direction! Transiting Uranus is working in opposition with transiting Saturn right now (although not to the exact at this moment - the first exact opp. was at 24 Virgo/Pisces in September, next will be in April this year at 28 Virgo/Pisces, then end July, 0 degr. Libra/Aries). When T-Uranus first hit my MC at 26 Pisces in June 2009, I could hardly resist resigning, but held it for a bit longer. Then Uranus started retrograding, but in September, when the opposition of Uranus/Saturn was exact, I decided to go ahead and do it! Resign!

Uranus retrograded back through my 9th house, back to 22.42 Pisces, and turned direct on December 2nd. On March 21st it will reach my MC for the 2nd time - and this is interesting, because this is the date of the Sprinq Equinox! This is the time when the new year REALLY begins! I just realized this, and I like it very much. The time between the Winter Solstice and the Sprinq Equinox is a time for reflection on the past year - not the very best time to set the intentions for the new year, anyway. So, I am thinking it's astrologically perfectly OK that I use these few months to get ready for the new.

I have a few embryos of plans - and today I ordered a little something to try to push myself in the right direction :). In my last post I talked a lot about Chiron, and in the book by Barbara Hand Clow that I've been reading, she mentions how Chiron also rules homeopathy, aromatherapy and other forms of energetics medicine. She moves onto using flower essences as an example, stating: "Minute quantities of flower essences are capable of causing a major shift in stuck emotional patterns, if a person determines the quality of an emotion and takes the appropriate essence to release it."

This had me remembering Bach's flower essences, which have fascinated me before, and I went to read about them again. And I found there's an essence, Wild oat (funny!), that seems to describe my constant dilemma. Wild oat "...is the remedy for people who feel they want to do something worthwhile with their lives but don't know which direction to go". (http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/wildoat.htm).
How great!

Hope you're all well,
much love and joy!
Anna